I used to lie awake worrying. Like you, I worried about the small stuff. And I worried about not getting to sleep which of course made it all worse.
I have to tell you about worry. Worry is useless and pointless. Worrying about past events is folly. You can’t change the past. Worrying about future events is also pointless because they are in the future, a time you do not control.
The only thing you can do is plan. Planning is not worrying. Put your light on and write down the event and your plan to deal with it. Once written down it is done and it stops your mind spinning over the same thing, over and over.
If that doesn’t do the trick, tell yourself that your bed is the most wonderful comfy warm place in the world. You really don’t want to sleep because you’ll miss luxuriating in your bed.
Thank you Helen, that is a really important piece of advice. Writing worries down does get the out of our minds, I’ll have to try your idea of writing a quick plan for some of them. And I’ll try that about just enjoying being in bed! 😊
Sending lots of healing wishes, been there still there, yes podcasts and books help, but the best help I’ve found is acceptance (sometimes works sometimes not). Best wishes Jack.
Thank you Claire, it really helps doesn't it. I don't think anyone has ever said being outside or gardening has made them more anxious. Perhaps a bit stressed when things go wrong at first, but we all tend to get past that with experience.
Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your health and sleep issues Jack.
I suffer with anxiety which often spills over to waking and worrying in the middle of the night. To give my mind a break I read articles on Substack, often yours, so I can eventually relax and fall asleep. So you’re part of the cure - thank you. 🙂
Thank you Jackie, I hadn’t thought about Substack articles like that but you’re right, they’re longer and generally a safer place. Thanks for sharing too, the middle of the night worrying is the worst x
Thank you for sharing this Jack, comforting, illuminating and wise. I really admire that you have taken some very practical steps to help yourself when sometimes we can feel despairing, that nothing can help- not true! And thinking positive gardening thoughts in the middle of the dark night is a great strategy for seeing off the ghastly what-if scenarios....too easy to lie there and catastrophise.....
Thanks Melissa, yes it’s too easy and often I find a waste of time as in the morning I’m thinking, why was I worrying about that? 😄 I think having a structure and some ideas to try ready can help get back to sleep.
I’m sorry to read that you have issues with anxiety and insomnia. I had ME for more years then I care to remember. One of the symptoms of ME is insomnia at night and the only way I could get through it was to listen to books through Audible. I still don’t sleep well and wake up several times a night but find if I listen to my audio book, I can fall back to sleep within a couple of minutes. I also found the Meditainment https://www.meditainment.com/meditation-for-falling-asleep meditations very relaxing and helpful for sleeping and anxiety.
I am fortunate to live in a village and even on days when I struggled to get out of bed, I still had dogs to walk so walked daily through the local walnut orchards and woods and I am sure this easy access to nature kept my spirits up and stopped me going under.
I like that thinking of gardens and plants can make you relax and fall asleep. I think about gardens and plants often during the day - I don’t know why I don’t think of them at night - I’ll give it a try.
Thanks for sharing your experience and advice Lisa, and sorry you also struggle with insomnia with your ME. I’ve tried reading at night which can help but I still haven’t tried listening to an audio book or slow podcast. My excuse is rubbish, I don’t have any earphones so I’ll make it a priority to get some. It’s one of those things where I think about them at night and then forget in the day! 😄 I’m glad you’re able to still get out and about with the dogs, keeping to the daily schedule and exercise are so important aren’t they. Take care. Jack
I used to lie awake worrying. Like you, I worried about the small stuff. And I worried about not getting to sleep which of course made it all worse.
I have to tell you about worry. Worry is useless and pointless. Worrying about past events is folly. You can’t change the past. Worrying about future events is also pointless because they are in the future, a time you do not control.
The only thing you can do is plan. Planning is not worrying. Put your light on and write down the event and your plan to deal with it. Once written down it is done and it stops your mind spinning over the same thing, over and over.
If that doesn’t do the trick, tell yourself that your bed is the most wonderful comfy warm place in the world. You really don’t want to sleep because you’ll miss luxuriating in your bed.
Next thing you know it’ll be morning x
Thank you Helen, that is a really important piece of advice. Writing worries down does get the out of our minds, I’ll have to try your idea of writing a quick plan for some of them. And I’ll try that about just enjoying being in bed! 😊
I hope it all works for you. Sleep is the great enabler.
Very valuable post, Jack.
Thanks Linda
Thankyou for sharing this
Thanks Jacqui
From one worrier to another… thanks for sharing Jack! ☺️
Thanks Kath, let's remind ourselves to worry more about what's growing next and less about other pointless stuff! x
I’m with you on that!! x 👏
Sending lots of healing wishes, been there still there, yes podcasts and books help, but the best help I’ve found is acceptance (sometimes works sometimes not). Best wishes Jack.
You're right, I'm still bad at thinking "argh I'm not sleeping" which in itself doesn't help. Thank you Sandra, same to you.
I also suffer from anxiety and time spent in green spaces is always so helpful. Thank you for sharing this post.
Thank you Claire, it really helps doesn't it. I don't think anyone has ever said being outside or gardening has made them more anxious. Perhaps a bit stressed when things go wrong at first, but we all tend to get past that with experience.
Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about your health and sleep issues Jack.
I suffer with anxiety which often spills over to waking and worrying in the middle of the night. To give my mind a break I read articles on Substack, often yours, so I can eventually relax and fall asleep. So you’re part of the cure - thank you. 🙂
Thank you Jackie, I hadn’t thought about Substack articles like that but you’re right, they’re longer and generally a safer place. Thanks for sharing too, the middle of the night worrying is the worst x
Thank you for sharing this Jack, comforting, illuminating and wise. I really admire that you have taken some very practical steps to help yourself when sometimes we can feel despairing, that nothing can help- not true! And thinking positive gardening thoughts in the middle of the dark night is a great strategy for seeing off the ghastly what-if scenarios....too easy to lie there and catastrophise.....
Thanks Melissa, yes it’s too easy and often I find a waste of time as in the morning I’m thinking, why was I worrying about that? 😄 I think having a structure and some ideas to try ready can help get back to sleep.
Wishing you well Jack .
Pat @ Shackleton
Thank you Pat, see you soon 💞
I’m sorry to read that you have issues with anxiety and insomnia. I had ME for more years then I care to remember. One of the symptoms of ME is insomnia at night and the only way I could get through it was to listen to books through Audible. I still don’t sleep well and wake up several times a night but find if I listen to my audio book, I can fall back to sleep within a couple of minutes. I also found the Meditainment https://www.meditainment.com/meditation-for-falling-asleep meditations very relaxing and helpful for sleeping and anxiety.
I am fortunate to live in a village and even on days when I struggled to get out of bed, I still had dogs to walk so walked daily through the local walnut orchards and woods and I am sure this easy access to nature kept my spirits up and stopped me going under.
I like that thinking of gardens and plants can make you relax and fall asleep. I think about gardens and plants often during the day - I don’t know why I don’t think of them at night - I’ll give it a try.
Thanks for sharing your experience and advice Lisa, and sorry you also struggle with insomnia with your ME. I’ve tried reading at night which can help but I still haven’t tried listening to an audio book or slow podcast. My excuse is rubbish, I don’t have any earphones so I’ll make it a priority to get some. It’s one of those things where I think about them at night and then forget in the day! 😄 I’m glad you’re able to still get out and about with the dogs, keeping to the daily schedule and exercise are so important aren’t they. Take care. Jack
Hi. It might be worth trying "Headspace". This might help you to "switch off". Worth a try and also breathing techniques. Good luck xx
This is so helpful. I appreciate you sharing your journey- thank you!